I think I learned early on how to live at a distance from myself. Weeks go by where my body feels like a language I was never taught to speak, where I move through my days like a poorly translated book. I’ve started to practice control the way others practice prayer, through limits and sacrifice. I sleep to disappear, and wake to try again. It doesn’t get better. Or perhaps change is simply quieter than I expect. I don’t think I’ve ever aligned clearly with anything. Not form, not feeling and no
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